Kristy and i had a date at Balmain and i decided that it was a lovely day to take the ferry across. Balmain was wonderful, as usual. It’s such a funky yet elegant suburb with the cutest sandstone cottages and it also has two of my favourite cafes. Today, we got coffee from The Little Marionette and took some rugs (provided by the cafe) to the park opposite where we sat in the sunshine and warmed up. I got some ground beans to take home and enjoyed smelling the coffee everytime i opened my bag.

On the way back to the city, the ferry stopped by Luna Park (the amusement park at Milson’s point) and i enjoyed looking at the ferris wheel which i haven’t been on in ages. As i’m writing, i’m reminded of this:

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels

The dizzy dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I’ve looked at love that way

I’ve always loved this song by Joni Mitchell and that scene in Love Actually where the song was played- it gets to me every time. But there does seem to be something magical about ferris wheels, especially when it includes fairy floss, sunblock lotion and squeals of delight as you reach closer to the sky.

It is only right that a kiss be shared in one of the cabins as the stars twinkle away above you.

(Speaking of Love Actually, it may be time to watch it again for, oh, the twentieth time.)

We headed down to the beach yesterday for a walk. I am still taking in the fact that the beach is right there, a few metres from our doorstep. So incredible. Jon enjoyed sitting on the rocks and being quiet while i took some photographs. We could see the rain coming in so we hurried along and walked up the very steep hill back to our home.

This morning, we woke up early (6.15am!) and went to the beach again. I must say that the fresh wind woke me up and made me feel alive. There is something so serene about being out and about at dawn, the streets empty and seeing lights come on in houses as people wake up to a new day. I spotted a man preparing breakfast in his kichen at one of the beachfront flats and that made me happy.

I made some Indian ginger tea for breakfast, taking pleasure in my ability to make it. It was a good breakfast especially when paired with some all-natural peanut butter on toast.

Good beginnings.

I hate neglecting this blog but time has gotten away from me. We moved house last week and at the same time, i received many, many exams to grade which took up all of my time. Things are still in boxes and bags in the rooms but the living, dining and kitchen are taking shape.

We bought a new carpet for the living room and i have been on google the last few minutes trying to see how i can get rid of that awful ‘new carpet smell’. Believe me, i would much rather be reading blogs so i can catch up on everyone’s lives but that is not to be this week.

On Wednesday, the semester will officially be over. On Thursday, i need to go get fabric to re-upholster our second-hand dining table chairs. Maybe next week, i will actually be able to write a proper post. Jon has promised to help me change the blog banner this weekend to accurately reflect the season we’re in now. Ah, winter.  Last week was miserably cold but today, it is 21 degrees (69.8F) so i’m not complaining.

Now, i need me some coffee and the latest episode of Brothers and Sisters. Oh! I watched ‘How to lose friends and alienate people’ on DVD on the weekend and it was so funny! Go watch it!

I was wide awake in the dark last night as my husband snored softly beside me. I hate nights like that when sleep doesn’t come easily and i have a million thoughts running through my mind- mostly discouraging, anxious and negative thoughts. Nothing good ever comes out of those thoughts except i end up having strange dreams and wake up in the morning feeling sad, melancholic, lonely and unmotivated. Which is exactly how i feel right now. I don’t deal well with these feelings because i hardly feel them anymore. Most mornings i am simply happy.

This week is my last week of teaching for the semester and planning my last tutorial for the semester feels like a gargantuan task. Next week, we move house and the mere thought of packing and leaving our current home seems unaccomplishable although our new home is beautiful and only a minute’s walk to the ocean. It has been raining for days on end, the sky a constant gray. Is it even possible that today is the first day of winter?

As i sit here typing, i am trying to think of things i can do to make myself feel better. Walking to the cafe for a coffee maybe? Making some granola? Watching a movie? None of these things excite me but maybe doing something, anything will get me out of this melancholy.

Starlings in Winter

Chunky and noisy,
but with stars in their black feathers,
they spring from the telephone wire
and instantly

they are acrobats
in the freezing wind.
And now, in the theater of air,
they swing over buildings,

dipping and rising;
they float like one stippled star
that opens,
becomes for a moment fragmented,

then closes again;
and you watch
and you try
but you simply can’t imagine

how they do it
with no articulated instruction, no pause,
only the silent confirmation
that they are this notable thing,

this wheel of many parts, that can rise and spin
over and over again,
full of gorgeous life.

Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us,
even in the leafless winter,
even in the ashy city.
I am thinking now
of grief, and of getting past it;

I feel my boots
trying to leave the ground,
I feel my heart
pumping hard. I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbably beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings.

-Mary Oliver