I sit in the doctor’s office, my fingers tapping against the soft denim of my skirt. The waiting is always the hardest.

I can’t seem to get past the first track of “No more shall we part” by Nick cave and the Bad Seeds and not only because it reminds me of Blue Eyes. Listening to it is a constant reminder that i’m in a place i can barely call home. I’m here but i’m not here. I’m holding myself together until i send my application off to Sydney Uni.

I long for, I long for

I long for my home

I long for a land where

No man was ever known

I’ll pick up the pieces,

I’ll carry on somehow

Tape the broken parts together

And limp this love around

-PJ Harvey, ‘The darker days of me and him’

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