Don’t be too hard on yourself, today. It’s ok to break a bowl, spill some paint, burn some cupcakes.
Take some time out. Be still. Treat yourself. (A cup of tea in a pretty cup, a long shower, putting your feet up on the table.)
It really is ok to have some respite on the toilet seat.

(Somedays, we all need to take advice from a cat.)

Mel and Gen. July 24, 2005.

It’s Sunday.
It’s Sunday!

It’s a sunny, sunny morning (21 degrees!) and i can actually step out the door without four layers of clothes wrapped snugly around me. I’m off to a coffee festival at The Rocks. I want to breathe in the scent of freshly brewed coffee. So comforting. So Sunday.
(Today marks my third coffee-free day.)

Tonight i went to my favourite bookstore cafe. I had a lullaby. A lullaby is a concoction of milk, malt powder, honey, cinnamon and nutmeg. Drinking the lullaby made me feel the way getting into bed at winter makes me feel…all warm and snuggly and dreamy.
Tonight, i remember that i’ve been tried, tested and tempted. I almost gave up, gave in, picked up the phone and called him. But i didn’t.
And that makes me very happy.

It’s a perfect winter’s day. The sun is shining and the sky is so blue. So blue. Outside, the leaves on the trees are rustling in the wind. The wind is cold. But i am inside, seated on my bed in a such a position that the sunlight falls gently on my freshly washed hair.
It’s my one-on-one time with my Father. (In fact, i get lost in repeating this over and over again: Father, Father, Father…).

As the sun warms my neck, i imagine myself being embraced by Him. This is the embrace, the embrace that makes every other embrace that came before seem weak. This embrace comforts, counsels, loves and strengthens. I don’t want to let go. I don’t have to.

My bible falls open to Habakkuk 3:19, which says:

The Sovreign Lord is my srength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.

I write down the verse and realise how similar it sounds to the verse that was put up in church yesterday:

The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army.

And then i see it. Below the verse in church is written, Habakkuk 3:19. It’s exactly the same verse but from a different version of the bible.

Now, this verse is my verse. I have adopted it as mine. I repeat it to myself.
The battle is not mine, it’s the Lord’s. I need only to be still.

I type in my user name and password, click on the “create new post” button and then.
.stop.
There is nothing to write about.
There is so much to write about, so much to say, so much to tell you but i just want to keep it all to myself. It’s like that time i tried so hard to capture the sunset with my camera before it dawned on me to put my camera away and capture the scene with my mind and revel in it.

But i can tell you this:
I wore a red coat last Saturday night. I saw a blooming rose tree. It’s exactly a month and half into winter. Spring is a month and a half away. I’ve had epiphanies. I bought some summer sandals today. I’m learning to let go. I’m trying to let God. I’ve been stretching with my little Larsi bear, the boo i nanny. I’ve been eating heaps of strawberries. I went to the beach today.