I hurt my right wrist a couple of days ago and have been unable to do much. The weekend thus was spent at home. However, the good thing that came out of this was the putting together of this new blog and my website (still under construction) that will contain my photographs.

All credit goes to my very lovely husband for giving up his weekend to style this blog for me. I am very particular about what i like and dislike so Jon’s patience was most definitely put to the test as i tried to choose a banner for the blog and get the fonts, colours and even the amount of space between each blog post just right. So, thank you honey for a beautiful job done. I love you.

As the days get colder, the visions i have for my life become stronger. As the sun sets earlier and earlier, i dream of long days spent in the porch, David Austin roses growing in the garden and playing my grand piano as the sun streams in through french doors casting shadows on timber floors.

It’s as if this winter is bringing to the surface all my dormant dreams and whispering gently to me that “Yes. Yes, you can do it. Yes, you can have it all.”

The heaters have to be turned on at night. In the day, scarves and gloves protect from the cold. Summer seems far away now and i can’t believe that a few months ago, i walked to the beach in a tank top, shorts, slippers and hat. It is hard for me to see the days getting shorter and shorter. This week, i’ve had to turn on the lights in the house at 4pm.

The upside to all this of course is the food: breakfast out with my husband-coffee, hot chocolate, banana bread and sourdough with a poached egg, baked beans and chorizos- on Tuesday morning before he works from home for the day. Pumpkin soup with a dash of allspice and nutmeg for dinner. A quince and pear crumble for dessert this Friday. All serve to offer comfort for cold bodies.

Today, i met Jena for coffee. I have come to rely on our weekly catch-ups to keep me on track with my life. I need someone whom i can talk to about my relationship with Jonathan knowing that it will not be part of next week’s gossip session. I need someone to help me on this journey that is sometimes difficult and who will not judge or persecute. So, for rekindled friendship, i am grateful.

I asked Jena if i could please take some photos of her at the beach this afternoon after coffee, The afternoon light was delicious and she is a beautiful subject. We only had five minutes but it was worth it. I felt happier and so much more in tune with myself after our little session.

And that’s how i know that photography is a big part of my life. I love it so and i feel excited after to see how the photos turned out. I’ve got an eye for good shots and lighting and i think with some studying, i may actually be quite proficient with the technicalities. In the meantime, i must save for a camera. The Canon DSLR i have been using for the past few weeks was on loan from a friend and tomorrow, i must return it.

But in a short time, it has revealed to me what i already know but found hard to believe- that i can follow my passions; that i can be good at many things; that nothing is impossible.

It’s been quite a week, battling with the voices in my head that tell me the dreams for my life will never be fulfilled. Some days it’s easier to deal with them; refute them. Other days, not so.

When we went to the Blue Mountains two Saturdays ago, we found a place that seemed to belong to another world- autumn leaves strewn everywhere, a stream, a wooden log table and bench, quiet. It was ‘the woods’ i had read about in books as a child. There was something magical about this place and i imagined having this as my backyard. A place to go to when i needed to escape; a tyre swing to swing into the heavens above; seeing my reflection in the water below.

Yesterday i watched ‘Made of honour’, only because it had Patrick Dempsey in it. $9 well spent if only for those eyes and that smile. The movie itself was mediocre. It was nice getting a McDreamy fix in the middle of the week though. Only four days till Sunday when Grey’s airs.

When the previews started (i like to go to movies early to see previews), the one for ‘Sex and the City’ came up. Don Henley’s ‘The heart of the matter’ was the background track playing, except it was a female singer singing it. Today, i found out that it was India Arie whose music i love. Since buying it on itunes, i have been playing it on repeat. It’s so good. And i can’t wait for the movie to come out!

Dinner last night was beautiful- toasted turkish bread and a lovely creamy camembert for starters. Then a tuna and olive pasta with fresh herbs and a glass of red wine.

Saying grace with my husband before eating. Intimate conversations with lots of laughter thrown in just because. Watching the Gilmore Girls together (he pretended not to be interested but i could tell he was). Being carried to the bath. My body cocooned in his, feet tangled up together as we fell alseep.

There are so many good things to look forward to.