I made pancakes again for breakfast this morning with a new recipe i found online and they were great! They were fluffy, didn’t burn and were made with wholemeal (or whole wheat) flour. Combined with a hot cup of coffee, it was a wonderful start to the day.

[Combine 2 cups wholemeal flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tspn baking soda and 3/4 tsp salt in a large bowl and stir. In a medium bowl, combine 2 eggs, 2 cups buttermilk, 2 T honey and 50g butter and stir. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir till just combined. Heat a nonstick pan over medium heat and spray with some olive oil spray. Ladle batter onto pan and cook until bubbles appear on the top. Flip over and cook for about 20s. Serve pancakes with fruit and maple syrup. Makes 10-12 pancakes.]

Last night, i made beef rendang from this recipe. It was so yummy, especially with this stir fried pumpkin and some fragrant jasmine rice cooked with star aniseed, cinnamon, cardamon, ginger and garlic (my auntie’s recipe). So, all good except that it took about three hours to finish cooking everything! I was so stressed afterwards and when i realised that i still had to make the pancake batter for breakfast today and do some ironing (which never took place), i collapsed on the lounge and asked Jon to please pour me a glass of chardonnay.

He had surprised me with a big bouquet of red roses minutes before and i concentrated on the fact that i had a lovely, generous husband whilst drinking my wine and eventually calmed down. Some days, cooking makes me feel relaxed and happy. Other days, not so. But as we sat down to our meal and Ugly Betty on tv, the flavours of the food and knowing that i had slaved over it made me feel quite accomplished.

I finally watched Sex and the City on Tuesday and really liked it. I loved the celebration of love and friendship and gosh, the fashion! I could never walk in that pair of blue Manolo Blahniks or even afford them but they were stunning. I’m probably most like Charlotte, fashion-wise with all her pretty dresses. The movie in its entirety was a fun experience and when i emerged from the cinema into the cold winter night, it left me dreaming about funky boots and made me look forward to seeing Jon and enveloping him in a big bear hug.

Lately, i’ve felt the need to run. When i close my eyes, i see a vision of myself running and running, my legs moving to the rythmn of the ocean. In my vision, i feeel a sense of freedom i haven’t felt in a while. It dawns on me that this need to run is not only a basic, physical need to move fast and get fit but also a spiritual and emotional need to move towards something bigger- running towards home; running towards dreams; running into the arms of my comforter.

So yesterday, casting aside all fear, i put on my running shoes and ran. I ran along the water, soothed by the late afternoon sun and the rythmn of the ocean. As my feet pounded the pavement, i realised that i could have done this months ago and saved myself days and days of feeling bad about my body and unsure of myself. Every step i took made me feel stronger and more confident.

And when i finally found myself lying on the floor at home an hour later, i felt like i had fought an enemy and won.

It has been raining everyday for more than a week now but Saturday was bright, sunny and just too lovely to stay at home so we set off fairly early and drove to the south coast. It was such a pleasant drive and being in the passenger seat allowed me to be distracted by the ocean in all its wonderfulness.

We stopped at Coledale and spent some time at the beach there before driving to Thirroul (DH Lawrence apparently lived here for a year in 1922), where we had second breakfast at Oskar’s Wild Bookstore and Coffeebar. Jon had the big breakfast and i had pancakes which i had been craving for a while. The pancakes were beautifully done- more crepe-like than pancakey but still yummy. Lots of maple syrup made this delightful meal even better.

After our meal, we wandered around Thirroul and drove along the streets to check out some houses. I found a perfect patch of grass overlooking the water and sat there basking in the sun and dreaming.

It was a beautiful morning.

At night, we went to Leichhardt (Sydney’s ‘Little Italy’) for some Italian food. Of course, we had to stop by Bar Italia for some gelato (double scoop of panne cotta and toblerone) and hot chocolate after dinner. Very content with our after-dinner selections, we walked along Norton Street and just as we were about to enter a bookshop, the entire street blacked out!
It was quite surreal. No one knew what was happening at first and then all the restaurants started placing candles on tables so diners could carry on eating. Although i was glad we had had our meal before the black out, a little part of me wished we could have had our dinner in darkness, faces lit only by candle light and a sense of excitement in the air. It would have added to the romance of the evening.

It started to drizzle as we made our way home on Saturday night and it hasn’t stopped raining since. I hear there is to be a short respite this afternoon but i’m not counting on it.

Meanwhile, having a surplus of bananas at home has resulted in banana pancakes for breakfast this morning and Emily’s banana bread for tea. So very good and perfect for rainy days.

(Well, what do you know. The sun has come out! I guess it’s time for some wet laundry to be hung out to dry.)

I went away to a seaside village on the central coast (90 minutes drive from Sydney) for a weekend with the girls in celebration of Lisa’s pregnancy. We drank lots of wine and coffee and had the most amazing food cooked by Lisa- Red lentil and carrot soup on Friday night, homemade muesli for breakfast on Saturday morning, barbequed chicken and potato salad with mint and feta for lunch, italian sausage ragu with pappardelle for dinner, apple tart for dessert, french toast with maple syrup and berry compote for breakfast on Sunday and then a pumpkin and blue cheese tart for our final lunch on Sunday.

Just writing all that down made me remember how good everything tasted, especially when combined with a few glasses of wine and lots of laughter and girly converstaions.

This week, it’s back to life as i know it- trying to stay positive about this whole job (or no-job) situation, reading lots, maybe buying a sewing machine and perusing cooking and craft websites to take my mind off everything. I did read somthing today which made me sigh and realise that there are so many things i could be doing rather than feeling sorry for myself and wishing i had someone else’s more exciting life.