I drove to the beach today, too lazy to walk the ten minutes there. Unfortunately, the ocean bath i swim in was closed for cleaning (this will teach me to check the pool cleaning schedule before i leave home). Instead, i watched the surfers and other swimmers in the ocean for a bit, the sun warming my back. I had brought my camera and a book a long with me (good thinking) so i went to a nearby cafe and sat down to have a latte and start on my book.

In the end, it turned out to be a wonderful way to while away a hot, Tuesday afternoon.

(Listening to: Mango tree by Angus & Julia Stone)

The morning we arrived back in Sydney, we found out that we didn’t have to move out of our lovely home after all. This is truly wonderful news but because my brother is moving to Sydney in July, we have decided to all live together from July onwards. So we will end up moving anyway, but this time because we want to. I will be sad to leave my little home behind, being very well accquainted with the nooks and crannies of each room and now familiar with the times of day that lights streams gently and then strongly into the house. I will be sad to leave behind my kitchen and my balcony, that beckons me every summer evening either with a cup of tea or a glass of white wine. But still, on to bigger and better things, i say.

Two nights ago, we decided to re-arrange the house to make it more liveable for the next few months (a lot of our things are still in boxes from when we thought we had to move). My desk was moved to my beloved sunroom and it is here that i sit and type. This room is adjoined to our bedroom and has four windows surrounding it. It is bright and breezy. I can hear the leaves rustling and the birds cooing. And when the wind blows in the right direction, i can smell the ocean- that delicious, summery smell. I have been absoultely spoilt to live a mere 10 minute walk from my favourite beach and i hope that our next house will sit even closer to it.

Since coming back, i have resumed my afternoon swims. There are nectarines and peaches in our fruit bowl. The sky is a beautiful blue. The days are so very long. Yes, i have returned to summer is all its gloriousness. My wish is to enjoy this season to its fullest.

Our flight back to Sydney leaves in approximately four hours. The bags are packed and as usual, we have exceeded the weight limit.

It has been a confusing, bittersweet trip. A feeling of being lost in the land of my birth yet feeling drawn to it because of family and good, cheap tea made with tea leaves and condensed milk. A heaviness plagued me a lot of the time as i yelled at ignorant strangers on the street.

Some days, walking hand in hand with my husband became the subject of many glances and whispered conversations. I hate that people care so much about our interracial relationship.

But the love of good people more than makes up for everything. Laughing uncontrollably, sharing a meal, feeling safe, being a child again- these are the things that give me hope and courage when i return to Sydney, which suddenly seems too far away.

And so i leave with a bittersweet symphony playing in my stomach- eager to return to my dear house and my afternoon swims yet saddened by the people i have to leave behind.